considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize
