I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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