She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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