I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
