Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
