you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
