so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
