so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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