Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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