the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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