Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
