I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
