I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize