yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
