you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
