Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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