I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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