it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
