doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
