You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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