life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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