I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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