Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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