it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Houston, we have a blender
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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