Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize