I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
The police scanner is talking about you again....
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
