Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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