The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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