Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
