he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
