I don't usually arrange sex via text message
that's an acceptable place to lick
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
