Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
