Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
