If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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