In the future we'll all be gay
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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