It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
