he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
false alarm, still single
Randomize
