his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
