are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
