i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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