Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize