I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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