We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
