am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
