We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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