sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
