My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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