Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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