Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
