LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
