I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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