i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize