I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
