I am puke
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Randomize
