your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
