goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
