Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
