i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
