Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
