Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
