Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize