I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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