I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
