You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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