Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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