I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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